Feminist Mom Guilt

The kid has a gift, a gift I tell ya, on how to make one feel guilty. She knows how to ask questions so saying no is almost out of the question. Her usual starts like this, "I know you're going to say no, but..." Yesterday she started her statement like this, "I know you don't like me playing this, but..." And then went on to detail how one of her girlfriend's asked her to play girlfriend-boyfriend with the girlfriend being the boyfriend. It ended up involving cuddling.

Her conclusion that I wouldn't like it stems from me trying to squash all this "He's my boyfriend," chatter that was happening at pre-school a few months ago.

She also goes up to Hannah Montana and High School Musical stuff at stores (lip balm, t-shirts, night lights) and says, "I know you won't buy this for me, but if you did, I'd want this."

Thanks kid. Your mama and daddy have set boundaries on what we think is age-appropriate and just because others have different ideas you're slamming us. I seriously didn't think this whole "But Susie's mom lets her!" wouldn't start until at least 1st grade.

It's funny that these boundaries aren't all spelled out or even discussed, but Ms. Smartypants figures some of them out on her own. I know I've said she can't have HSM, but I say it's because she doesn't watch it. From that she has determined no Hannah Montana.

And of course this leads me to my continuing pondering of whether or not to take her to see "Kit Kittredge" which is from American Girl (which I get chills up my spine when I think of AG & $100 dolls), but even Ebert gave it an awesome review AND said it wasn't a feature length commercial. aem will now smack me.

People underestimate the power of peer pressure at this age. I guess people think that every parent shields their children the way you would think. The thing is that we don't shield her all that well either. The girl knows almost the entire Star Wars mythology and thinks everyone else does too. Yet, I struggle with describing Han Solo in black & white terms to her...which is where pre-schoolers are - good or bad. Any "well, he was bad, but good" or "a good guy who does bad things" does not cut the cake. She knows Anne Hatheway not from "Ella Enchanted" but from seeing me watch "The Devil Wears Prada." So I know my lines aren't prefect either.

*sigh* This motherhood gig is far tougher than anyone gives us credit for...and seriously, if the credit can't be at Social Security, can't it be at Ann Taylor Loft?