What Does It Mean to Be Transgender?

When you think of yourself as male or female, it's called gender identity. Everyone has a gender identity the inborn sense of ourselves as being male or female.

Most people's gender identity matches their anatomy. But people who are transgender feel different from their physical appearances.

What society expects of us as men, women, boys, and girls also affects what we feel about ourselves. Every culture has "rules" about what is expected for men and what is expected for women. These expectations can include things like hairstyles, clothing, and jobs and how people should act or behave.

Society doesn't have to state these "rules." Everyone knows them because we see them all over. So most of us grow up believing men should act a certain way and women should act a certain way without thinking about it much. Transgender people, though, have a very different sense of themselves.

Some transgender people know they feel "different" from the time they're young kids. Others start sensing it around puberty or even later. When people who are transgender become aware that they feel mismatched with their bodies, they may feel confused and emotionally conflicted.

Some people decide to physically change their bodies through surgery or taking hormones to match the gender they feel they really are. Physically becoming the opposite gender can be a long, complicated, and expensive process.

Not everyone decides to get surgery or hormones, though. Some transgender people are most comfortable keeping their physical anatomy but dressing as the opposite gender. Some aren't completely sure what they want yet, but may start by asking to be called a new name and use the pronouns that go with that name (such as "Amanda" instead of "Anthony" and "she" instead of "he").

Once transgender people start living their lives as the opposite gender, many issues may come up like how to fill out forms that require checking "female" or "male," and even which public bathrooms to use.

As with any group, not all transgender people want or think the same things. It all depends on what that particular person needs to feel most comfortable in both body and mind.

By: Linda A. Hawkins, EdD, and Nadia Dowshen, MD

Virginity: Why Some Teens Wait

Some teens are waiting longer to have sex - they are thinking more carefully about what it means to lose their virginity and begin a sexual relationship.

For these teens, there are many reasons for abstinence (not having sex). Some don't want to worry about unplanned pregnancy and all its consequences. Others see abstinence as a way to protect themselves completely from STDs. Some STDs (like AIDS) can literally make sex a life-or-death situation, and many teens take this very seriously.

Some teens don't have sex because their religion prohibits it or because they simply have a very strong belief system of their own. Other teens may recognize that they aren't ready emotionally and they want to wait until they're absolutely sure they can handle it.

When it comes to sex, there are two very important things to remember:

1. that you are ultimately the person in charge of your own happiness and your own body
2. you have a lot of time to wait until you're totally sure about it.

If you decide to put off having sex, it's OK - no matter what anyone says. Being a virgin is one of the things that proves you are in charge, and it shows that you are powerful enough to make your own decisions about your mind and body.

If you find yourself feeling confused about decisions related to sex, you may be able to talk to an adult (like a parent, doctor, older sibling, aunt, or uncle) for advice. Keep in mind, though, that everyone's opinion about sex is different. Even though another person may have useful advice to share, in the end, the decision is up to you.

By: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD

Virginity: Feeling Curious

You might have a lot of new sexual feelings or thoughts. These feelings and thoughts are totally normal - it means that all of your hormones are working properly. But sometimes your curiosity or sexual feelings can make you feel like it's the right time to have sex, even though it may not be.

Though your body may have the ability to have sex and you may really want to satisfy your curiosity, it doesn't mean your mind is ready. Although some teens understand how sex can affect them emotionally, many don't - and this can lead to confusion and deeply hurt feelings later.

But at the same time, don't beat yourself up or be too hard on yourself if you do have sex and then wish you hadn't. Having sexual feelings is normal and handling them can sometimes seem difficult, even if you planned otherwise.

Just because you had sex once doesn't mean you have to continue or say yes later on, no matter what anyone tells you. Making mistakes is not only human, it's a major part of being a teen - and you can learn from mistakes.

By: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD